So, this morning I am staring at the cursor blinking wondering how to start. Maybe I just did.
There have been triggers over the last week that have resurfaced my grief. It is just the little things. Taking out the garbage(that was Jay’s chore) is one. Others I can’t remember right now but I just remember getting that hit. And having one right now.
Now, in addition to my grief I grieve for two families that lost a child last week. One to a sudden heart attack and the other to cancer. I sure do know their heartache.
Psalm 73: 25 says “Whom have in heaven but you?….. ” It goes on in verse 26 to say, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” Oh what a promise! That is what I have to remember every time! This grief has no end until I reach heaven myself. Now, at almost 2 years since my boy(son) passed, I will point out that it is not everyday I have those strong feelings. But sometimes ! And no, I personally don’t push them down. I can’t. It is too hard. So, God manages it for me.. I just turn it over to him. I am a mortal being and that means I am not perfect. I still feel and it hurts and I cannot deal with it alone.
I think I have bounced all over the place so I will end with this:prayer. Oh, God my sustainer and my comfort, I pray the same for my friends. I know one is a deep believer and the other I am not sure. That doesn’t matter to you for you will comfort them if they ask or if I ask. If I am to reach out please give me the right attitude and words for them. If not, help me to remain silent and intercede on their behalf. Amen
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